I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
