Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
