Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
