Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
