her vagine was all disorganized.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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