hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
