Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
