Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
