If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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