Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
