lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It's Friday. Sex?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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