That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize