I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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