mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Drunk is a universal language darling
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