His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
