Where are you?
In a non slutty way
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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