i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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