love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
