Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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