Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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