Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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