I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I have tasted many bathrooms
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
