I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
