I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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