Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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