Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
