Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
