Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
