she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
