its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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