Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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