i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
