New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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