Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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