Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he puts the penis in happiness.
operation harelip BJ is a go
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
