She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
