he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
