is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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