I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
