Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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