Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
