We won't sleep together?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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