think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
