disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
