girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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