And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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