Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
