Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
