Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize