There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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