do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You were trust falling into bushes
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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