I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
