Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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