Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
