what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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