I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
