Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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