what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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