so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
