I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
