just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
