You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
