didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
