Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
