And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
