kristin has been a bad kristin
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
