i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You are a genius and a whore.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
