Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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