U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
