lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
