it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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