Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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