Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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