the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
