Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
