By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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