I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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