we have officially lost it.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
