I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
