I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
