I cockslap morals
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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