No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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