Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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