Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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