Got a toothbrush?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
