How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize